Before I Knew Where My Questions Would Lead

When I look back on my life before Christianity became part of it, I do not remember a single moment when I suddenly began to question religion. It happened gradually.

I was born and raised in Iran, where religion was present in almost every part of everyday life—from school and education to social expectations and public behaviour. As a child, I remember being required to attend prayers at school, even when all I wanted to do was go outside and play. At that age, I could not fully explain why it troubled me, but I kept wondering why something as personal as faith had to be compulsory.

Those questions grew stronger as I became older. During my university years, religious and political expectations remained very visible. Rather than drawing me closer to God, they gradually created a greater distance. I stopped praying and began sharing some of my doubts with close friends. I also struggled to accept the way fear and punishment were connected with religion, particularly when young people were publicly punished for things such as drinking alcohol.

Photography also shaped the way I saw the world around me. Between 2005 and 2007, I worked as a photojournalist. One of my assignments involved photographing a large religious mourning ceremony. I was there professionally, but what I witnessed affected me personally—especially seeing very young children taking part in rituals that I felt could be dangerous.

Experiences like these did not make me stop thinking about God. If anything, they made me question more deeply the version of religion in which I had been raised.

At that stage, I was not looking for Christianity, and I certainly never imagined that I would one day become a Christian. I simply knew that I could no longer accept a faith only because it had been given to me in childhood. I wanted to understand for myself what I truly believed—and whether faith could be rooted in freedom and choice rather than fear.